11.01.2012

Delayed But Not Denied

"I should be farther along by now."
"Why didn't I finish school when I had the chance?"
"I could've written over 20 something books by now."
"Why haven't I written and produced all of the plays God has given me?"
"I should be speaking all over the country by now."
"I feel like I've wasted so much time..."
"Maybe if I hadn't ________, I could've ________."

I think at least one of those thoughts everyday. This last year I've really been hard on myself. I know, I know. You're already thinking that I shouldn't be hard on myself, right? Or, maybe you're thinking that I can still do all of those things. You are right! I shouldn't be hard on myself, and I can still do all that I aspire and desire to do. That's not the problem.

I talk to so many people who are unsure of what their calling is, or who have the faintest clue as to what they are good at. I talk to so many people who are trying to figure out what to do with their life, in their life. I can't imagine how it feels to NOT KNOW what you're supposed/want to do in life. However, I can imagine how it feels to actually KNOW exactly what your calling is and what you're good at and seem helpless to accomplish those things. <-- THAT'S the problem.

From as early as the eighth grade, I've known that I was a writer. That was EIGHTEEN years ago! I have not written one book. I've started over twenty-two books but I've finished none. Do you know how frustrating that is? It isn't that I am incapable. Other things just came up and distracted my attention...for eighteen years. (O_o)

The plan was to write books, go to college and major in English, get my MFA (Master of Fine Arts) with a concentration in Creative Writing, get booked for speaking engagements all over the world, write and produce plays that would eventually be movies, have two non-profit organizations, and live happily ever after with my husband and children :-)

I am very happy with my husband and children! Very happy! But all of the other stuff got lost somewhere along the way :-/ And yes, it bothers me from time to time. But I'm sure you gathered that already.

Well, yesterday I was driving, on my way to a particular place. I knew exactly where I was going and I knew the best route to get there. I was also on a schedule; so time was of the essence. When I got to the main street, the road was closed. I didn't like it one bit. I had to turn around and go another way. When I got going the other way, there were detour signs. I didn't like that either and was becoming more and more aggravated. I had to drive on all kinds of extra roads and make all kinds of extra turns that took all kinds of extra time. What should've been a ten minute trip took over thirty minutes. 

In my frustration, God ministered to me. He told me that even though I was taking alternate routes that would make my trip longer, I was still going to end up at my destination. He immediately brought to my mind all of my concerns about my hopes and dreams and showed me that it was the same thing. As we church folk like to say, "Delay is not denial." God showed me that just as I eventually ended up on the right road yesterday, I am on the right road now in my life. It may have taken me some time to get here, but I am here...more focused, more disciplined, more God-driven.

I have been working on my dreams and aspirations this whole year like never before. But I allowed my "should've, could've, would've's" to get me down. I cannot go back into my past and redo or undo anything. I can, however, move forward and do the things I know I am to do.

One of my favorite scriptures is the beginning of Ecclesiastes 9:4. It reads, "Anyone who is among the living has hope..." I am among the living. So there is hope for me! As long as I am alive, I will keep pushing/working towards my dreams.

You can too! Just because you've hit a few bumps in the road and had to take some detours throughout life, does not mean that you won't arrive at your destination. God took the time out of his busy schedule to encourage me. I, in turn, am in encouraging you. You can do it! You have HIM in you!!!

What are your hopes and dreams? What have you been called to do? What obstacles have you faced in trying to reach your destiny. Leave a comment and share.

Until next time, Pretty Girls...xoxo!